A couple of years back when asked to take part in a Channel 4 program about the KitKat when it was at the peak of its derivative product madness, I was asked to speculate what they might do with it next. On the spur of the moment I said 'some kind of spread that you could put on your toast'. I was fairly pleased with that, but I really honestly didn't think that some crazed biscuit doctors would ever make this leap. If they did I was also mainly expecting it to be in a squirty tube a bit like Primula Cheese spread and not a really quite big jar.

Belgian biscuit baker Lotus well known for their Caramalised Biscuits and Speculoos has found a way turning biscuits into a spread. This seems to be grinding them up with some vegetable oil, sugar and emulsifier much in the way peanuts might find themselves ending up in peanut butter. The upshot of this is that it tastes almost exactly like Speculoos, just is peanut butter tastes just like peanuts.

Beyond breakfast I can see this new technology being put use in two important areas. The first as new form of biscuit adhesive for making advanced types of birthday cakes. In fact I reckon you could pull off a half decent Jabba the Hut's sail barge sticking on the window shutters with a jar of this stuff. The second and perhaps more obvious use is in the manned exploration of Mars. Biscuit crumbs in zero G during the 3 year round trip could prove quite a problem scuppering the no doubt endless opportunities for a nice float around and a cup of tea presented by 18 months in space. Lumps of this should be much better behaved in space. Demand in Belgium for the product has been overwhelming, and if there is any of it spare Lotus UK will try and bring it to our supermarkets.

Biscuit of the Week Club Milk

This summer has been fairly bereft of any summery weather. Especially when like team NCOTAASD you head off to Ireland before the brief heat wave of July only to return again some three weeks later safely accompanied across the Irish sea by downpours of torrential rain. So yes three weeks of camping around the emerald isle is now well and truly under our belts. To put this into perspective when we next bleat on about some charity event that we have become embroiled in and are looking for sponsorship, perhaps you might want to retrospectively sponsor the putting up and down of one large family tent in the rain four times. In between times we did manage to finally track down that pinnacle of Irish biscuit bar excellence the Club Milk, ancestor of the UK's Club biscuit and recently restored back to its proper configuration and glory.

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Your Feedback Pauline Wilson

I recently travelled on Flybe from Norwich to Manchester and was served one of your biscuits with a hot drink. I wanted to mention to you what a delightful biscuit was served. It made all the difference to the plane delay. I was ready for a little tasty delight. Yours faithfully Pauline Wilson.

Nicey replies: Pauline, I'm not sure how you got hold of one of my biscuits as I tend to make them on a Saturday and keep them in a tin, till Sunday when the youngest member of staff plays football. We have a flask of tea and a few at half time. Still glad they cheered you up on the Norwich to Manchester flight. My travels to and from Norwich in the early 1980s were always via National Express coach, where one was lucky to get a cup of Max Pax instant something. As I recall the main trick with Max Pax beverages was to read the description of the drink 'Tea' or 'Coffee' on the cup as taste, smell and appearance were insufficient evidence to go on. The second import thing was to make sure that all the powered muck in the bottom had been fully mixed with the hottish water, else lumps of it could fall into your mouth as you drank it. I fear I may have wandered off the point now. Best Nicey

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PG Tips want to say thanks

As my Welsh teacher used to say. Of course I had no idea what she was going on about as my family were all from Essex. Yesterday being St David's day we decided to give Sue Northcotts traditional handed down Welsh Cake recipe a go, and here are the results, with supporting daffodil and leek.

The boys too came in traditional welsh dress, which was possibly what ever you normally wear with a leek pinned to you. Unlike the Prince of Wales's leek yesterday when he was on the telly, a small delicate affair, most were full size vegetables requiring a couple of safety pins and a bit of string to secure them to the child. Many boys would start eating their leek raw before morning break giving them an authentic welsh dragon breath by lunch time. Some of the boys who had the more feminine daffodils attached to them would eat them too in displays of male pride/stupidity.

By far and away the best thing about St David's day was that it was half day at school. Even now well in to my forties I find that a March 1st that falls on a weekend seems like lost opportunity. I feel that somehow I've missed out on my afternoon off. It was several years into my working life before I could fully stop my self going home at lunch time on St David's day.

Well its February 14th and the romantic ones amongst us are no doubt planning something wonderful for their special love tonight. Here at NCOTAASD HQ the YMOS and myself see this as a perfect opportunity to bake some cakes whilst Wifey is out earning a crust. It may appear that this is merely a way of circumventing my diet, but it passes as romance here - right!